Friday, February 2, 2007

why moms work harder

4 comments
 
I've always said that working moms have a difficult life. Not only are we full time moms, but we work 40+ hours at our jobs.

Now, please know, I'm not knocking SAHMs. Heaven knows I want to be one. But I believe working moms face obstacles that SAHMs don't.

Take this recent study that says the United States trails other countries when it comes to family friendly workplaces.

I've been fortunate. I've been allowed a lot of flexibility with my job. But it hasn't always been like that. And for every time my job seems accomodating, there's ten other instances when it is very family un-friendly. I can only imagine how it is at other workplaces.

It's like banging your head against the wall a lot of times. I feel torn between what's best for my family emotionally and what's best for my family financially.

Many times we go head-to-head with our bosses, trying to explain why our daughter's doctor's appointment is necessary or why missing the last few minutes of an already drawn out meeting is ok because it means you'll make it to see your son's basketball game.

It's sad -- research has shown that happy parents are harder workers because they feel confident that their families are taken cared of. Moms can relax and let go of their parental duties during their work day because they know when they have to be mom, they can be.

Why can't more companies realize that? Maybe they should take a hint from Working Mother's 100 best.
today's good: It's Friday! And it's Groundhog Day. And that cute little Phil says spring is on its way! Hooray
today's bad: Wow, something must be wrong...I can't think of anything to moan and gripe and complain about!

4 comments :

  1. Wow... we are totally on the same page on this. Just applied for a job where I would be a Contract Resume Writer... WORKING FROM HOME! Know that it would mean working for some hard ass - stubborn people, looking for work but it would also mean staying at home and making the same amount of $ without daycare... that's $10000/year in our pockets! Just imagine!

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  2. I don't know why it is that moms seem to think that whatever side of the fence they are on, the other side has it easier...but I guess that's life. I quit my paid job when my first child was born. Being a SAHM is the hardest job I've ever had. With no pay and very little or no time off. But I also have a lot of great times with my kids. Lately? Not so much. But I'll miss them when they're older and I have to go back to a paid job.

    I think all parents struggle with the balance. And we all have stress. And, if we're lucky, a lot of good times too.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  3. Companies that recognize that caring about people is not only the right thing to do, but it is a competitive advantage when it comes to recruiting people will end up with far more committed and productive people, be able to pay them a bit less (I know you would have to pay me $20k more per year to compensate for the benefits I get from flexible schedules if I were to move to a less flexible situation), and enable a whole bunch of skilled people who might not otherwise be able to work to contribute to their bottom line.

    Got an email from someone who works for me Wednesday evening almost begging to be able to come in a couple of hours late the next morning so his wife, who is a SAHM, could go to a doctor's appointment. This guy works late almost every day, and works crazy hours when something critical is going on. I can't even imagine why anyone would begrudge him and his wife the knowledge that just like they come through when the company needs them (and let's not pretend that his wife isn't equally putting herself on the line when she is the only one caring for the little ones for a few extra hours because he stays late), the company will come through for them when they are in need. How long do you think it took me to type "Absolutely! Hope everything goes ok"?

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  4. Heather said, "I don't know why it is that moms seem to think that whatever side of the fence they are on, the other side has it easier..." I totally agree. It is frustrating that this issue seems to resurface every so often for me.

    We all make choices. What matters most is that we are happy with our decisions and that we do what is best for ourselves, our family.

    When I decided to stay home with my first born (she's now 4 1/2), it was the hardest decision I've ever made. I still struggle, on occasion, with the fact that I stay at home. It is difficult for me to accept that I rely on my DH for financial support... I spend all the $ (groceries, clothing, etc.) but bring home zero. I seldom get recognized for the job I do. Seldom do I hear comments like;
    "Wow. Your kids are so well behaved."
    "Your house is always picked up and in order. Do you have a maid?"

    As a teacher, parents would request me... I received thousands of dollars in grants/awards for classroom projects... the kids would hangout in my classroom before/after school & during recess... I know I was a valued member of the team. I loved my job. I loved who I was... it was my identity.

    As a SAHM, I don't get those same accolades. I constantly question whether I'm doing the right thing. Whether I've made the right decision. It is an ongoing struggle.

    I just wish we could all respect the choices of others... and recognize that we all have it good and bad.

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