Tuesday, March 20, 2007

it's not just me!

3 comments
 


This morning, I had an eye opening revelation.

I usually feel alone in my quest to be a good Mom2Amara.

Today's Washington Post has an article that says despite mommy guilt, time with your kids is increasing. Hmmm, mommy guilt. I have that ALL. THE. TIME. Guilt for leaving Amara to go to work. Guilt for not having Amara enrolled in more extra-curricular activities. Guilt for taking time out for a date night with Dad2Amara. But why? The study says modern moms are spending more time with their kids than we think.

And on this week's Manic Mommies podcast, they talk about flex time and telecommuting, both of which I am fortunate enough to take part in. So I get to send Amara off to school and pick her up in the afternoons. And I get to stay home with her some days. But I still have this sneaking suspicion that some of my co-workers, including some of my managers, disagree with this workplace philosophy. And I start to feel guilty that I've been allowed this "perk." I think I get my work done, if not more, by telecommuting and taking advantage of flex time. I have more passion for my work so I want to do more. And I want to repay my company for allowing me to do this. But still, I can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing enough -- at work or at home.

See, no matter what a mom does and how often she does it, it's never enough.

Gone may be the days of the quintessential suburban mom. But why then do I strive to still be one? Why do some many of us strive to be like June Cleaver? (Although I think I'd look cute wearing an apron.)

But apparently I'm not alone. It's not just me. Other moms are trying to do it all. And when we do it all, we still want more.

Any moms out there that can help me with this? How can we get rid of the mommy guilt? Why do we pressure ourselves to reach for these lofty maternal expectations? Are we doing this to ourselves? Or is it truly a work of society?

3 comments :

  1. Lady, I've had mommy guilt for almost 9 years... that is why everyday my kids are spoiled with chocolate, twinkies (their favourite these days), weekend trips to the dollar store, mall, room makeovers (Jax is into all things orange - vintage Cavs stuff), lessons in all desires, friend days, etc. It doesn't stop! But my kids and hubby love me to bits, so it's all worth it!

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  2. Here's a different approach from someone who's dad2noone (yet!) You're a valued employee at your work and that's why they allow you your schedule. Good employees are getting harder and harder to find. Take no guilt in the "benefits" you've been given, instead embrace all that time you have with Amara. Smile :)

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  3. Oh - Mommy Guilt. Sucks doesn't it. But since you listen to the show, you probably know that I refuse to succumb (most of the time) to Mommy Guilt. Chin up girl - you are doing an awesome job! Don't lay the guilt on yourself and don't let anyone lay it on you!!

    Oh, and if it isn't too weird, tell your boss how much you appreciate the flexibility you are given. More people like your employer would make the world a happier, and less guilty, place.

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