Thursday, August 16, 2007

is your child a spoiled brat?

5 comments
 
This question was asked by Nordette at BlogHer. She wanted to know if your child has ever been called a "spoiled brat."

Yep. Amara has. By a relative. And that hurt.

I've talked about my fears of raising a spoiled child. I've written about my attempts to make her heart more generous. I've even admitted to being a bit spoiled myself.

But I'm doing my damnedest to discipline my child while insuring her life's enriched with all the pleasures of being a typical four-year-old girl.

Amara knows that she cannot have everything she asks for on a whim.

Nothing is immediate but Mom and Dad2Amara's love. Hugs and kisses are given whenever asked.

But want a Happy Meal when Mom2Amara already has the table set for dinner? No go.

Plop your rear end on the floor and scream for a new Cinderella doll to add to a collection of three dozen? Nope.

My relative once proclaimed Amara couldn't stand not to be in the spotlight. This relative insinuated my lack of control over my only child was mortifying at best and my daughter's behavior is an embarrassment to the family.

Let me state this for the record. My daughter has never been nor will never be an embarrassment to my family.

Does Amara sometimes act out? Yes, but what preschooler doesn't? Heck, what adult doesn't?

And when Mom2Amara says "no," it means no. We are consistent in our parenting. We don't make open ended promises or unfulfilled threats. We do not tolerate selfishness.

I hate the phrase "spoiled brat." It's so subjective. It's one of those matters left to the eye of the beholder. Kinda like when I say I'm a hot Asian.

I don't think we are raising children to grow up in a bratty society. I think we're simply living in a society less tolerant of children and more vocal about their discord.

Kids will be kids. While I agree that some parents allow their children to go too far, those instances are not the norm. The girl having the tantrum on the ready to depart airplane? Not typical -- it's just good media hype.

What about you? Has your child ever been referred to as a spoiled brat?

5 comments :

  1. I don't have any children of my own, but I do love and adore 4 very beautiful nieces - They (range in age 4-15) are wonderful and bright and can act a bit "willfull" at times. Any child can (and does!).

    I don't think many children fall into the 'spoiled brat' category and your family member was out of line.

    You're making a concious decision about your parenting style and being consistent is hard, but rewarding. I'm sure your little girl will grow up to be an intelligent and well-mannered adult.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My older son has never had a temper tantrum. I was quite smug about it, thinking this had everything to do with my excellent parenting. ;-)

    Then along came D., who has temper tantrums of varying sizes on most days. I have endured the dirty looks in supermarkets of strangers when he has screamed because I won't buy him something. He has never been called a spoiled brat, but I'm sure people have thought it.

    Meanwhile, I try to be patient and consistent. This means not giving in to the tantrums, even to please the annoyed bystanders.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ladies, thanks for the words of support. I really do try my hardest to make sure that Amara does not fall into the "entitlement" trap.

    And Laurie, I'm blushing! Right back at ya, babe!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I worry about the spoiling, too. And sometimes LA Toddler thinks I'm a meanie. But I think kids are upset whenever things don't go their way. And they act out just to push those boundaries.

    But they need and sometimes want those boundaries. Nobody has said she's spoiled, but I've gotten some looks that said, "You should control your child."

    I usually give them looks back that say, "Your stupid and ugly."

    ReplyDelete