Monday, August 6, 2007

the anti-mom

3 comments
 
"The days are long but the years are short."


I heard the Manic Mommies say that once. And you know I love the Mommies so I'm ranting about the saying, people. Not the Mommies.

(I love the Mommies so much that even though it's in the middle of a very busy TV month, I'm going to try and take their mom-cation. I'm still working on that though...)

Anyways, the saying. I don't know if I agree.

Some days I really feel like the anti-mom. No matter how many chocolate chip cookies I bake, no matter how many field trips I attend, I know I really don't "fit in" with other moms. Yes, it's like high school again. I know I don't belong. Thank goodness that just like then, I am waaaaay too comfortable with who I am as a person to give a rat's behind.

The days may be long for some. But for me, they are never long. There's never enough hours in the day for me to be mom, wife, professional, blogger, reader, runner, and kayaker (yes, I still want to learn how to kayak).

I took these pictures of Amara this morning at breakfast. Maybe it's the dress she's wearing. Or maybe it's the way she had me doll up her hair. But something about her made me think about how grown up she is.

She's. Only. Four.

How can I think she's "grown up" already? The days are so not long. That's a lie.

I recently was involved in a conversation with some moms. A mom of two kids under 24 months was lamenting on her motherhood woes. Almost on cue, a seasoned mom reassured the young mom with "Oh, it'll get better. Just wait a few years."

That's a fib too, right? Because for me, I know it won't get better. Because with each passing minute, I know it doesn't get better than this. It IS better.

Yes, motherhood is filled with its share of trials. But at every stage of Amara's life, a part of me wished it would never change. I enjoyed it all that much.

Is this why other moms shy away from me? Am I too much at ease with my mom title? Or am I delusional?
today's good:I'm heading into work a bit late today so how did I spend my morning? Baking yummy zucchini bread. Hmmm. Zucchini bread.
today's bad: I've been waiting for a phone call for days now. They told me "we'll ring you no later than Monday." Well it's Monday. Where the hell is my phone call?

3 comments :

  1. I really love this post. My daughter is 3 and I have those days, many of them. And I also can't believe how fast time is flying and how grown up she is (your daughter is so adorable!). It's really important to remember that even the tough days have something great in them - or at least that is what I tell myself.

    Nataly from workitmom.com

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  2. "The days are long but the years are short."

    True, true, true :-)

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  3. I too never fit in with the rest of the moms I know. For me though, it's a deliberate cultivation. I dress like Britney (okay, maybe not BRITNEY. Maybe Lindsay Lohan. Or Paris. Okay, not like a skanky ho, but you know what I mean). I also look 10 years younger than everyone else. Plus I listen to nasty, dirrrrty rap music and let my kids listen to them too. And I teach hip hop. And I deliberately emphasize my non-whiteness. Does that make sense? I also, when it's just us moms, unabashedly declare my undying love of sex (and not in the puritanical way either), talk about guns, and openly admit to loving US Weekly magazine.

    I don't fit in and I don't wanna fit in. Fitting in is boring. And you know all these white-bread mamas secretly wish they're more like us, they're just too chicken to let loose.

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