Monday, January 24, 2011
an open letter to the mothers of the world
Dear Fellow Moms,
Motherhood is such a personal choice. And sometimes, for reasons beyond her control, it's a decision over which a woman has little control.
Over eight years ago, I surprised my husband with what would be the greatest blessing: a home pregnancy test showing two pink lines. We hadn't planned on becoming parents. Yet the moment Amara entered into our lives, we were smitten.
I never doubted our parenting skills. It wasn't arrogance, rather confidence the time-tested advice of our ancestors would carry us through. Being Mom2Amara has never been easy. But I think I'm pretty damn good at it. No professional accolades and no personal honors can compare. I might even say I excel at this motherhood thing.
But then the decision was made we would be an only-child household. Yet as I look around this past weekend, everyone I know seems to be expecting. Or as I eat lunch, every table surrounding mine has a family with a waving toddler.
And my heart then breaks.
As Amara begins to be more independent, I know dating and driver's license will be just around the corner. And butterfly kisses will be no more.
And I just want another chance to be a good mom.
Does this feeling ever go away? If I were to have another, would I long for a third? Or was I delusional with Amara and am destined to fail second time around?
I don't long for promotions. I don't care about how much money is in the bank. But will I always just long to be a Mom?