Tuesday, August 2, 2011

better off sniffing it

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I've always had big dreams.

I wanted to be an astronaut. Then realized I'd have to be know science.

I imagined living in the City. But I'm nestled in the 'burbs, between acres of woods and a Cape Cod.

And I daydream about creating lovely crafts and baking tasty treats, all in my cozy home. This is a dream I continually have. Visions of sugarplum fairies dancing on cupcakes or in paper mache fill my head. I wish I could make them as beautifully as they deserve to be.

For years, I have ripped recipes out of magazines. And now I am virtually pinning arts and crafts ideas on Pinterest, in hopes that I can maybe make puffy paint look like a Picasso.

But let me let you in on a secret. I'm an arts and crafts reject.

The only time I failed in school was in art. It was kindergarten. I received unsatisfactory scores in cutting and pasting. Two semesters in a row. It scarred me for life.

To this day, I hear Sr. Seraphine scolding me as I try to cut a straight line. And dang it, I try glue sticks and nothing stays put. Even duct tape isn't keeping my crafts in line. I use regular, good ol' glue out of the bottle, and I put too much on and it's a freaking mess.

You know how art is in the eye of the beholder? Yea, what I design is pretty unsightly.

Thirty years later and I still suck at pasting.

And now, I think I can come up with a dozen less frustrating uses for glue than crafts.

So I guess I'll have to keep dreaming. Or purchasing crafts at local shows and passing off what vendors assemble as my own handiwork.

Are you crafty? Want to share with me tricks of the trade?

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