Wednesday, August 31, 2011

giving dating advice to my daughter

5 comments
 


Every parent hits milestones with their children.



And each seem to come with a sense of pride. Hope. Surprise.



But shoot me. I should not be talking to Amara about dating. At age eight.



Awkward.



I'm sure there are plenty of parents that believe their kids aren't old enough to date. But again. Amara's in third grade.



Why are we having this conversation?



We were driving home in the mom-mobile last night, having a perfectly fine dance party to Matt Nathanson when Amara meekly looked up from the back seat and asked if she could tell me about her day. Her tone and demeanor changed, and I thought for sure my daughter was having a break down.



Hello? Welcome to the club, my dear gorgeous girl.



Apparently Boyfriend2Amara confided in BestFriend2Amara that he may now like her. And of course BestFriend2Amara told my daughter at recess.



Follow that?



Oh, and by the way, Boyfriend2Amara has been "seeing" Amara for the last two years. We've been to family parties already.



In true Amara fashion, she continued talking through her mist-filled eyes. She responded it was okay, because she was now "available" for "football players."



Again, allow me to remind you she. is. eight.



I told my daughter what a beautiful young woman she is growing up to become. And how proud I am of her for being smart and strong. I told her to be successful, she doesn't need to be in a relationship. She can dance, work, and shop -- all without someone at her side. But if and when she is dating, it needs to be a healthy relationship. Her partner should adore her, accepting and supporting her for all that she is. Her partner should respect her, and their relationship should be based in honesty and open communication.



And when she's older, I'll explain how love is about risk. And passion.



I told Amara someone once said it's sometimes best to just hold your head up high, blink away the tears, and say goodbye.



Then in the end, as I drove, I wished with all of my might that my daughter would stay a little girl forever.



Because I'm learning skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart.

5 comments :

  1. Oy vey! How they do grow up fast. Your advice is so very good though ... well said. I even copied it so I can refer back to it when my time comes. ((( HUGS )))

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  2. If that didn't do the trick for her, just have her listen to Beyonce. Beyonce is great break-up music!

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  3. OMG!!! Zoe was sad, because her 'boyfriend' quit her for a day...these girls...

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  4. I guess I should have said that he quit her, because she said that she wanted to have 2 boyfriends...

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  5. Maureen - I never thought of Beyonce as break up music but Amara really only likes to shake it to Single Ladies so I guess that's one tactic!

    Eva - I shouldn't be a role model to be copied! But thanks for the hugs. I'm struggling with this one.

    Shelley - Zoe said what?! What are we going to do with these girls? I think we need to sit them down for a Kitchen Sink and have a good talk with them!

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