Monday, December 17, 2012

wow, aren't we a bitter nation

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It's no secret I've had a rough year. Horrendous may be more like it.

Even before the divorce, I've always joked (yes, it's in jest, people) that I am a bitter soul. But last week I saw this in my healthy dose of Entertainment Weekly:


Adele? She has a phenomenal voice. I totally understand why she would be voted in the top spot for favorite musician of 2012. But take another look. Following close behind the British singer are Taylor Swift, P!nk, and Katy Perry. The real message of this online poll could hardly be clearer.

Um, does anyone else recognize the angst and rejection that typically fill these performers' albums? Are we a nation of bitter women? Or at the very least, does this mean the readership of the magazine is largely women disgruntled by failed romance? How can performers who sing songs filled with betrayal, hate, and sadness top this list?

Bitter women are scary. We are angry. We are mean. And it all boils down to the trauma of a relationship that has ultimately infiltrated all areas of her life.

I am in no way comparing a breakup to the insurmountable tragedy in Newtown. But why is there so much rage among us? No, life does not always end up the way we expect. But damn...why does disappointment over a failed relationship fill our lives so much? Why have these women gained a cult following because of their anti-love anthems? Daily we hear them sing:
"But don't your remember, don't your remember the reason you loved me before?"
"I say 'I hate you.' We break up. You call me, 'I love you.'"
"You think I'm just too serious. I think you're full of sh-t. My head is spinning so blow me one last kiss." 
"Throw your bombs and your blows, but you're not gonna break my soul. This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me." 
Damn those lyrics for being so memorable.

Sure, I have some favorite breakup songs. But I am trying to shy away from all the self-pity often exhibited by bitter women. Venting is healthy. Screaming is great for the soul. Yet life is not all mistletoe and sentimental gifts.

Perception is reality, right? So I'm trying to create a remarkable life that I envision to be my new reality. Do I fail? Yes. But do I get back up? Yes. Most of the time. But we are accountable for only our own lives.

So how about we focus on love - past and present - and move on from all this bitterness?

How about we be better not bitter?

Ask for help when you need it. (Something I don't do enough.)

Learn from your mistakes.

And don't overthink it - simply let it go.

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