dance class hell

crappy ballet moms & their even crappier kids

Entering preschool, Amara felt like she should be over-extended and over-booked like every other child in America.

To oblige, my daughter's not only going to school but she's in dance class and will soon be taking golf lessons. HELLO?! She's 3. Extracurriculars for a 3 year old? But hey, I'm the dummy. I sign her up and drive her there. But I digress.

It's been 3 days since her last dance class and that's how much it still pisses me off. How is it I find the classes and schools with all the nose-in-the-air parents? At dance class, all the parents wait in one room while their budding ballerinas plie and piroutte their little hearts away in the studio.

First off, am I the only mom sane enough not to bring my daughter's siblings (granted she has none), grandparents, aunts, uncles, second cousins and next door neighbors to her lessons? Honestly! Do these parents really think their daughters are Anna Pavlova after the first lesson? Should you really be showing off your child who can barely clap to the beat?

But again I digress. At dance class, I thought I'd get to meet other moms, make a few new 'friends' blah blah blah. It'd be good for both me and Amara. First class, I think I was an outcast because I brought a newspaper and coffee. Crap, was I not supposed to show that I'm literate?! Or was it the fact that I need caffeine because I don't enjoy getting up at the crack of dawn to make a freaking class for my 3 year old daughter? Wait, I think it was irritating to the other moms to see a mom who was not going to watch her daughter move-by-move. So not one word was said to me....except for the very nosey mom who noticed one of the rings I was wearing. But hey, at least she had enough good taste to comment on my accessories.

Second class, there must have been something in the water because all the siblings in the waiting area were on a rampage. I was sitting at the edge of a bench when two suburban hoodlums basically pushed me off the bench. Without an apology from their parents, I took my newspaper and popped a squat on the floor. So now the dynamic duo is in perfect position to kick the sid