Day 44

My daughter hates me. And it's all my fault.

My husband had a meeting after work so rather than going straight to hospice tonight, I drove home to be with Amara. We enjoyed dinner together. And we talked about what TV shows we would watch snuggled under a blanket on the sofa.

That's when she began to sob.

"Why do you love my cousin more than me?"


"Why don't you come home?"

Nearly every time Amara has visited Mom at hospice, my nephew has been there. Amara assumed when I'm at hospice with Mom, I was inevitably with her cousin too.

Amara doesn't understand why I must stay with Mom. She doesn't realize the magnitude of the situation.

My daughter broke my heart.

I am so torn.

I feel stretched to my limits.

Do I be the dutiful daughter?

Or shall I be the loving mother?

I can't be both. Yet I know I won't be the only one hurt.