you can't "catch" divorce

I said I'd throw a huge party. Or buy myself a lavish gift. But there really was little fanfare when it came to the day I officially became divorced. A few girlfriends came over to support me, but there was no big band, no presents.

Recently I was asked by a friend, also a divorcee, if I noticed things were "different" now that I was single. I knew exactly where the conversation was headed - many of our "couple" friends were nowhere to be found, running as if I had a case of smallpox or Ebola.

We all know my opinion about big, bad commercial television and how it influences children. <snicker> So it really should come as no surprise when I say, you are an adult, fully capable of making your own decisions. If my decisions and actions can influence your life so easily...damn, you have larger problems than your marriage.

I didn't take my decision lightly. I have a lot of respect for my friends, and I'm hoping they are smart enough to not shrug their shoulders and run at the drop of a hat. So why then did they head for the hills?

I had no problem with my divorce, but I guess they did. Play dates stopped. Dinner invites were non-existent. Was I really only "part" of a "whole?"

Did my friends think I would bring them down? Because of Amara, I tried to steer conversations away from any mentions of her dad. I wanted everything to remain upbeat.

Did they think their spouse would leave them too because we were breathing the same air? I'm pretty sure that's not not how it happens.

I'm the same woman they friended years ago. I just don't have a husband.

Big whoop. Seriously.

It's been months now since the divorce has been final. And I have yet to hear from many of these "friends." But just like they can't catch divorce, I can't catch up to them. Because I stopped trying. 


  1. I can relate to this SO much!! Most people are content to avoid me like the plague or gossip about my choices, all while having said "let me know if you need anything!" All I need is for you to be the same friend you were before I made this one decision. If we were closer, I'd take you out for a drink! Thanks for posting this!


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